For Almost 2 Years

For almost 2 years, I haven't wrote anything.

For almost 2 years, I haven't let out a single thought.

For almost 2 years, I have been bottling things.

For almost 2 years, I have kept myself, to myself.

With all this nonsense thoughts and stupid lame jokes bursting out of my mind every single second, i now feel the urge to throw it up and spit it off.

I have been quiet for too long while my life is getting too short.

Now, just let me get everything out.

p/s: I have just realized that writing is quite helpful. mental therapy.

Fixed

The walls that you've built,
That kept you from crying,
Doesn't let me inside.

That walls that you've built,
That kept you from hurting,
Doesn't let me pass through.

The walls that you've built,
That kept you from hearing the words,
Doesn't open me a gap.

The walls that you've built,
That kept you from breaking,
Doesn't break and fall.

I could never pass through.
I could never get to you.

Behind it i stay,
Not moving,
Waiting for you,
To come out one day.

Polaroid

I’m calculating what’s left inside me
When everything I left were my life and my dreams
And every time you were proud of what you were not
This is the truth and it’ll be a history


I gave you everything, I gave up my life and they were all for you,
you’ve ruined everything!
I gave you everything and I gave up my life
And they were all for you!

I wonder what went wrong, it became like this
when I’m not pretty sure
After all the crossings we’ve been through,
it’s not suppose to be like this. Why?

And every time you’re fucking proud of what you’re not
I hate the truth but still it’ll be a history
I swear you will know this somehow
Before it’s too late and dies
Realities are so complicated

I wish to see the truth shines brightly in your eyes
It’s even for me, and even for you
Just try to understand…
You and me, yeah I remember,
Look how we were meant to be!

You, yes you.

I've been asked to leave.
I've been begged to go.
I've been informed to forget.
I've been told that i'm not needed.

I wonder what else i must do.

Don't you ever dare to say that i did not try.
Don't you ever dare to tell people that i did not offer a hug.

For what i know.

It's not me that you're falling into.
It's just the way i treat you.

Similarity

I said "We don't have any similarities".
She said "Yes, we do".

I said "If we do, tell me what is it?".
She said.

I said "What took u so long?".
She said "We have none".

Avoid

I'm bitter,
I'm sour,
I lack compassion,
I lack rationality.

She said i was wrong,
They said i was mean,
I said tell the whole world,
What am i and what i'll be.

My eyes radiate the gloom,
My heart rests in a tomb,
If only they could see,
What's more in me.

Bapak Saya Kaya

I had this on the 18th of February 2009.

12:02 AM Azik: dzul

jom pisgor

dzul

dzul

dzul

weih

dzul

hello

hello

me: rabu kot

Azik: hello moto

me: mana gorpis

Azik: eh tutup ke?

me: pasar malam kan

Azik: alaaaaaaa

12:03 AM pergi jela jum

kalau tuup kita pg pasar malam

me: jom jom

12:04 AM azik

kau ada buku bisstat x?

Azik: tak ade rasenye

nanti aku check kejap

12:05 AM me: kau boleh tolong tny member2 kau

Azik: ape tajuk buku tu eh

me: jap

12:06 AM Azik: ada 1 ni

aku tak sure bis stat ke econs

me: statistical techniques in business and economics with global data sets

panjang nak mampus

12:07 AM Azik: hah ye la tu

aku ada

me: nice oen two three

*one

nak pinjam boleh?

Azik: amik la

sebulan rm500

12:08 AM ahahahha

me: boleh2

mintak dekat petronas

nama bapak aku petronas

ahahahha

Azik: ahahahah

ye ah

muhammad dzulhazmi bin petronas

me: yer betul

ahahaha

Azik: ahahah

Azik: muhammad dzulhazmi bin petronas

me: xyah buat status arr

12:09 AM ahahaha

Azik: lawak dowh