Indelible

Our history is not something that can be erased easily.
It's not a writing on a paper.
It's not something you type on your computer.
It's not a text message that you keep on your phone.
It will always be there in you, always will.

History teaches you on what to do and how to do it.
History molds you into someone and melts you into others.
Our feeling itself is based on past history.
Good time reminiscent and bad time memory flashes into our head when feeling plays its part.

And feeling overcomes mind and body control.
It dictates every single cell and every single vein.
It even blurs your vision, deafens your hearing, and turns you senseless.
It burns every drop of relevance.
And it grasps you with anger and doubt.

History teaches lesson in your life.
Some good and some bad.
No matter how hard you try to erase it.
No matter how far you try to run away from it.
No matter how agonizingly you try to forget it.
It is still in you.

Looking for a rainbow?

Rainbows are beautiful aren't they?
I always question myself,
"What do they have at the end of the rainbow?"

Some people said,
"You will find leprechaun's gold at the end of the rainbow"

And some said,
"There's nothing, it's just some light deflection"

But still
I always wonder,
"What do they really have at the end of it?"

I wish i could be there, just once,
In my lifetime.

It's all the same

Ramadhan has passed by. We have successfully performed the compulsory fasting activity which God has given to us, for us to light our limbless and hopeless life.
Syawal is on the air. We are now celebrating Eid Al-Fitri with such joy and excitement and forgiveness, 
and a whole bunch of fattening stuff to burst our guts out.

Here are the budget i have made during Ramadhan to save my broken ass from being broken even more.

Actual Expenses Pre-Ramadhan

Food

One Day = RM 10
30 Days = RM 300

Cigarette

One Day = RM 5.90
30 Days = RM 177

Total = RM 477

Budgeted Expenses For Ramadhan

Food

One Day = RM 5 (we only get to eat after Iftar)
30 Days = RM 150

Cigarette

Two Days = RM 5.90 (we only get to smoke after Iftar. A box would last for two days at least)
30 Days = RM 88.50

Total = RM 238.50

Ah, that's great then. I am going to save a whole lot of money during Ramadhan.

But that was what i thought.

The Actual Expenses During Ramadhan

Food

One Day = RM 10
30 Days = RM 300

Cigarette

One Day = RM 5.90
30 Days = RM 177

Total = RM 477

It's all the same.

Conceal to Reveal

We believe in truth,
We reside in clarity,
We rise to the height of clearness,
We jump in the pool of faith.

We conceal the flaw,
We cover the scar,
We patch the open wound,
We hide the glorious view of uncertainty.

In the very second of life,
We reveal hidden colors,
We expose confidentiality,
Answering questions.

Concealer is the reveler,
Merciless and doubtless truth,
Picturesque scenery that is certain,
Giving sight to the blind.

The Wonderful World of Goldfishes

Goldfish only has 3 seconds of memory.
How wonderful.

5.30.15 pm - goldfish: Wow, i have a new owner!!!
5.30.18 pm - goldfish: Ermm, where the hell am i?
5.30.21 pm - goldfish: This place is beautiful, have i been here before?

Human has memory of many years.
God-made awesomeness.

1991 - I was somewhere in London celebrating Eid Al-Fitri with a blue eye.
1993 - I was crying my life out. I was put in a kindergarten. Stayed there for a week (or so).
1996 - I got my first glasses. It made me look awful (I thought so).